About me
The Song of my Heart
The ability to see and experience the world through a different kind of consciousness has been with me from early childhood and found its expression mainly in writing poems and a deep connection with nature and animals. The gap between my family’s experience of life and mine created a deep void in me…. a pain that brought a feeling of not fitting in and not feeling at ease with my environment and life itself.
These feelings were my steady company in search of a life free of emotional pain. The questions ‘What is love?’ and ‘Why are we here?’ guided me, already early in my life, to books of various philosophers and mystics that gave me a taste of a different world and created a delicate perceiving of the world as whole and beautiful. It brought to light a deep feeling in me, of a knowing without to know. This was my first encounter of an experienced paradox that left me with a deep longing in my heart to dissolve completely in the loving embrace of life.
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After some years working as a teacher for intervention-based trauma work, family constellation work and as a psychic reader and Medium, I still could not find an answer to my questions. My experiences allowed me to understand the complexity of the psychological mind and its delusional distractions, as well as understand the role of our family-based conditioning. But the question what would end the suffering of a human being was still not answered. I felt like walking in circles.
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This feeling that something was missing lead me to leave my life behind and to travel the world. After spending some time with an indigenous tribe in South America, I found myself offering plant-based ceremonies both in South America and Europe. This was until I came to a similar recognition within myself during one of my ceremonies: I could only see beauty everywhere. Everyone was perceived uniquely beautiful and perfect to me. There was nothing to heal or fix.
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In this sweet discovery I was unable to continue with the ceremony work, which felt at that time like a release of an invisible burden inside of me. I felt tired and lost interest in all kinds of distinct forms of so-called ‘healing work’. This recognition opened a new door, and I was introduced to various non-duality philosophy teachings from various sages.
The simplicity of the pointings removed my mental tiredness and I rediscovered a spontaneous movement in harmony with life. The following years I spent time in contemplation and in Satsang in both India and Europe. This discovery did not bring me more knowledge but rather brought a constant unlearning of everything I thought was true.
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Concepts, ideas, and personal identifications dropped one by one and what was uncovered was a peace and a joy to simply be. The Song of my Heart was set free.
The Italian Mystic Fancis of Assisi beautifully described this transcendence in his poem:
“What you are looking for is where you are looking from.”
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My longing to enter the essence of my heart and to know myself led me to experience so many different stages of consciousness and their amazing play, just to see that I was ever present in my heart, though covered by a single thought of separateness. And yet this journey brought me the gifts of humility, compassion, gratitude, and love and what it means to be human. I do not know my path or the path of anyone. Those empty pages of my Self are filled by my daily encounter with life and its miraculous ways.
Living a simple, ordinary life embedded in love allows me to embrace myself as a human being and beyond. It fills my heart with joy to serve other beings on their path back to a simple and ordinary life where the unique song of their hearts is felt and followed as the true authority of themselves.